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He Only Knocks Once - Novella
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April 2023

Nice To See You, To See You Nice (Chapter 2)
His jaunty joshery hadn’t gone down as well as he’d expected
 • 
Craig Burgess
4
The Incidental and (Apparently) Entirely Accidental Inciting Incident (Chapter 1)
A club sandwich of shoe bread, if you will
 • 
Craig Burgess
5
Vitriol on why I can’t read anything on the internet
7 Steps To Writing A Better Substack Post, nope. Flick. 5 Reasons Why I Quit Twitter, nope. Flick. A Deep Study On The Psychology of Human Potential…
 • 
Craig Burgess
22

December 2022

They’ll never see this coming
Mark the Social Media Magnate starring in... A Dastardly Plan For World Domination
 • 
Craig Burgess
 and 
Vánechka
5
A cautionary tale about handles on plastic doors
“Here’s some thought leadership for you: stick it up yer ar—”
 • 
Craig Burgess
5

November 2022

Drowning in The How
“Sorry mate. You ‘erd of TikTok?”
 • 
Craig Burgess
17
A Little Elon Gated
A short story about buyer’s remorse
 • 
Craig Burgess
12
On being weirder
And my plans for this Substack going forward
 • 
Craig Burgess
23

October 2022

Michael Maher’s Strange Obsession
He’d brought his kitchen knife with him, just to chop his sandwich in half
 • 
Craig Burgess
4
The Three Commenteers
A short story about committing antagonistic word acts outside of your jurisdiction
 • 
Craig Burgess
14
Round-up #1 — Over a year in
More round-up than a Hollywood cowboy film, more learnings than a Twitter thread (probably)
 • 
Craig Burgess
15
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